I can’t even imagine trying to navigate life while all these different flashbacks and nightmares take over your consciousness without warning and without any way of stopping them. It makes me think about how hard it must be for so many people with PTSD to just move through the world.
Dooood. That’s why I share this stuff. Because even people who have been through significant STUFF, even people who have done the research…if your stuff didn’t actually develop this kind of PTSD—I’m so glad! But yes. Most people can’t imagine. The crappy part is that most people aren’t willing to imagine for the sake of understanding, compassion, and putting some energy in. Research, development, treatment, and some friggin’ standardized “duh” accommodations from society and workplaces. Things that should be as common as m/paternity leave, bereavement leave, sick time, etc. (Which also could stand to be adjusted for Hashtag Actual Humans instead of machine parts.)
One of my combat vet buddies and another of my highly triggerable neurodivergent friends have service dogs. Said dogs wear service dog vests. My buddy is a smartass (who tells the absolute fucking truth of what he needs) by putting some of the “I am at work, don’t pet me” service dog stickers on his work equipment. Fucking brilliant. Not like most people notice, or adhere to this boundary when they do. They probably think it’s just a joke.
I sometimes think it would be smart of us to develop warning attire like this for those of us who are actively working to treat our PTSD but haven’t gotten there yet. Not so that people think they need to be scared of us and steer clear. People aren’t (generally) scared of friggin’ service dogs. NO. They (generally) have respect and admiration for this boundary. If the (general) population had a clue what we battle just to maintain baseline functionality—I mean, really had a clue—much less those of us who still manage to excel and soar and give and create while we work on healing…it’s too bad there is not respect and admiration for it, instead of disparagement, fear, and exile.
If people would keep their friggin’ hands off us when we’re long-tail cats in a room full of rocking chairs…if people would think twice before they put a pin into a balloon behind us…if people would refrain from poking…poking…poking…messing…and then look shocked and insulted at the explosion—which is naturally “our fault”…
I wish there was some sort of option WE could choose to signal “contents volatile, handle with care” ****and actually receive societal compassion and support**** instead of being written off as “weak, broken, problematic, malfunctioning cogs.” That’s why we work so hard to hide it. Because once people know…
Sheeee-it.
I don’t have a career or community to lose anymore so fuck it. I’ll take this one for the team, exposing the truths.
I’m sure said attire would eventually get weaponized and used like the Scarlet Letter but…it’s a nice fantasy in my mind. I am bummed that the tradition of wearing mourning attire went out of fashion, too. Not as a “have to” for a pre-determined length of time dictated by society. But as a signal chosen by the grieving for however long we feel messed up—and we are severely messed up, grief-brain is rough!—also as a signal respected by society and given just a little extra community support.
But that would require genuine community, compassion, respect, empathy…
Long lost commodities I grieve.
Huh. Guess I had a lot to say about that. Hahahaha!
Anyway…all that to say THANK YOU so much for even being willing to travel down these cobweb laden, dank, creepy staircases with us. Much less engaging your empathy and compassion buttons. You da best!!! It means the world. 🥰
You certainly did have a lot to say on that one haha. And all of it was spot on!
There is so much I could respond to but hit me the most, and what I feel is the most upsetting/frustrating/wrong is that, as you said — most people aren’t even willing to imagine for the sake of understanding and compassion. It’s rough to think that that’s the state of the world.
It really is, and it may actually be my greatest heartbreak. To realize how rare it it…has become? Always was and I was too naive to understand that? I’m not sure. But it makes me really sad. And it means those who do are extra special. ✨🥰✨
Absolutely. It has taken me a really long time to wrap my brains around that. Part of that is how messed up my memory is. But I think the bulk is simply...I don't get it. The fact that you struggle with it, too - no wonder we get along so well. 🤜✨🤛
I can’t even imagine trying to navigate life while all these different flashbacks and nightmares take over your consciousness without warning and without any way of stopping them. It makes me think about how hard it must be for so many people with PTSD to just move through the world.
Thanks Alexx :)
Dooood. That’s why I share this stuff. Because even people who have been through significant STUFF, even people who have done the research…if your stuff didn’t actually develop this kind of PTSD—I’m so glad! But yes. Most people can’t imagine. The crappy part is that most people aren’t willing to imagine for the sake of understanding, compassion, and putting some energy in. Research, development, treatment, and some friggin’ standardized “duh” accommodations from society and workplaces. Things that should be as common as m/paternity leave, bereavement leave, sick time, etc. (Which also could stand to be adjusted for Hashtag Actual Humans instead of machine parts.)
One of my combat vet buddies and another of my highly triggerable neurodivergent friends have service dogs. Said dogs wear service dog vests. My buddy is a smartass (who tells the absolute fucking truth of what he needs) by putting some of the “I am at work, don’t pet me” service dog stickers on his work equipment. Fucking brilliant. Not like most people notice, or adhere to this boundary when they do. They probably think it’s just a joke.
I sometimes think it would be smart of us to develop warning attire like this for those of us who are actively working to treat our PTSD but haven’t gotten there yet. Not so that people think they need to be scared of us and steer clear. People aren’t (generally) scared of friggin’ service dogs. NO. They (generally) have respect and admiration for this boundary. If the (general) population had a clue what we battle just to maintain baseline functionality—I mean, really had a clue—much less those of us who still manage to excel and soar and give and create while we work on healing…it’s too bad there is not respect and admiration for it, instead of disparagement, fear, and exile.
If people would keep their friggin’ hands off us when we’re long-tail cats in a room full of rocking chairs…if people would think twice before they put a pin into a balloon behind us…if people would refrain from poking…poking…poking…messing…and then look shocked and insulted at the explosion—which is naturally “our fault”…
I wish there was some sort of option WE could choose to signal “contents volatile, handle with care” ****and actually receive societal compassion and support**** instead of being written off as “weak, broken, problematic, malfunctioning cogs.” That’s why we work so hard to hide it. Because once people know…
Sheeee-it.
I don’t have a career or community to lose anymore so fuck it. I’ll take this one for the team, exposing the truths.
I’m sure said attire would eventually get weaponized and used like the Scarlet Letter but…it’s a nice fantasy in my mind. I am bummed that the tradition of wearing mourning attire went out of fashion, too. Not as a “have to” for a pre-determined length of time dictated by society. But as a signal chosen by the grieving for however long we feel messed up—and we are severely messed up, grief-brain is rough!—also as a signal respected by society and given just a little extra community support.
But that would require genuine community, compassion, respect, empathy…
Long lost commodities I grieve.
Huh. Guess I had a lot to say about that. Hahahaha!
Anyway…all that to say THANK YOU so much for even being willing to travel down these cobweb laden, dank, creepy staircases with us. Much less engaging your empathy and compassion buttons. You da best!!! It means the world. 🥰
You certainly did have a lot to say on that one haha. And all of it was spot on!
There is so much I could respond to but hit me the most, and what I feel is the most upsetting/frustrating/wrong is that, as you said — most people aren’t even willing to imagine for the sake of understanding and compassion. It’s rough to think that that’s the state of the world.
It really is, and it may actually be my greatest heartbreak. To realize how rare it it…has become? Always was and I was too naive to understand that? I’m not sure. But it makes me really sad. And it means those who do are extra special. ✨🥰✨
It makes me sad too. The idea that the most of the world is that harsh is something I struggle with often.
But yes, your right it’s makes the special ones extra special :)
Absolutely. It has taken me a really long time to wrap my brains around that. Part of that is how messed up my memory is. But I think the bulk is simply...I don't get it. The fact that you struggle with it, too - no wonder we get along so well. 🤜✨🤛
Yes, exactly!
I think not understanding this mad world is a prerequisite for getting along with weirdos like us hehe. :)