🎶 Carol of Twelve Hells
A whiplash & TBI tune, snarked to Carol of the Bells
For your singalong filky pleasure:
CAROL OF TWELVE HELLS
Hark! Hear the bells
Tinnitus bells
All seem to say
Throw you away
No Christmas here
There is no cheer
For young or old
That’s really cold
(Ding…dong…be…gone.)
Ding-dongy dong
Their cursed song
Annoying ring
Always ringing (Oh, woe, agh…)
One seems to hear
Bells in the ear
From everywhere (From everywhere)
Silence is rare
(higher now and with ever-more woe)
Oh, how they pound (Oh, how they pound)
Raising their sound
Over the pain
It’s a migraine
Daily they ring
Headaches they bring
There is no cheer
No Christmas here
Crappy, Crappy, Crappy, Crappy Christmas
Happy-Crappy, Happy-Crappy Christmas
(Agh, ow, agh…)
(Ding…dong…ding…dong)
(Ring…gong…be…gone)
They will not send
You to go mend
With a good doc
Dang, what a crock
Hark! Shut up, bells! (Tinitus bells)
Tinnitus bells
All seem to say
Throw you away
No Christmas here
There is no cheer
For young or old
Dang, that is cold
Ding-dongy dong
That cursed song
Annoying ring
Always dinging (Oh, woe, agh…)
Can’t help but hear
Bells in the ear
From everywhere (From everywhere)
Silence is rare
(raise it up again!)
How my head pounds! (Oh, how it pounds)
Raising their sounds!
O so much pain!
Cursed migraine!
Daily they ring
Headaches they bring
No Christmas cheer
All alone here
Happy-Crappy, Happy-Crappy Christmas
Crappy, Crappy, Crappy, Crappy Piss-mas
No way to mend
Wish it would end
Relenting tone
Made itself home
Hark! Hear the bells
Tinnitus bells
All seem to say
Throw you away
Piss-mass is here
Stow your good cheer
Tongue you shall hold
Hate when you’re bold
Big donkey-gong
That cursed song
Annoying ring
Always bringing (Oh, woe, agh)
Bells in the ear
Can’t help but hear
It’s everywhere (It’s everywhere)
Silence is rare
(your highest fortissimo woe)
Relentless pound! (Damn it, the pound!)
Terrible sound!
O so much pain!
Damn this migraine!
Gaily they bring
You now to cling
Agents will jeer
All alone here
Crappy-Trappy, Crappy-Trappy Christmas
Happy-Crappy, Trappy-Crappy Piss-mas
Head will not mend
When will it end?
Relenting tone
Made itself home
Piss-mass is here
Stow your good cheer
All seem to say
Throw you awaaaaaay…
Agh, ow, agh…
© 2023 Hartebeast
UP NEXT: HOLIDAY HELL DAYS 8-9
Discovering Dain Bramage
THE OTHER FILKING CAROLS:
🎶 The Most Blunderful Time of the Year (an ode to holiday season drunk drivers)
These tunes could become a whole new genre of music — Christmas carols for those sick Christmas haha