🎶 Un-Holy Night (Migraine Divine)
A totally sacrilegious carol for Holiday Humbuggers who've had our fun curtailed
For your filking pleasure:
Here’s another oldy but moldy from the Holiday Hell gift pack. It’s actually quite fitting this year, considering my relapse into neuro-crap the past few months. This was me back in 2000, and again about 5 days ago.
No, seriously. Dude. Ya gotta laugh about this shit, man!
Sing it with me now in your best overblown, dramatic baritone while rrrrrrolling your RRRRs:
Un-Holy Night (Migraine Divine)
Unholy Night!
The light halos are shining!
It is the night
Of your head-demon’s birth.
Long lay you wait
In pain, in terror, whining!
Won’t disappear
And your soul has no mirth.
No shred of hope
Your weary body hoisted
Up stairs, in bed
To toss and turn ’til morn!
(Fist in the air now)
Fall on your face!
Don’t pelt me with your voices
O migraine is mine!
Migraine divine…
Skull-vise was born 🤘💀🤘
All Night…I pine!
All Night…
O-ho-ho-ho migraine… is… mine
Please dull the light!
Don’t want it even beaming
No whirring fan!
Now I can’t even stand
Spikes through my skull
And out my eyeballs streaming
Here comes the puke
And my tremulous hand
The ring of rings in ears
I am in danger
Of horking on your shoes
So sorry, friend!
Fall on your ass!
Will you…(shh, whimpering:)
please shush your voices
O migraine is mine!
Migraine divine…
(Gotta start rockin’ out and head-banging now)1
🤘Skull-vise was booorn!
Da-da-da-da-da! 🤘
All Night…I whine!
All Night…
O-ho-ho-ho migraine… is… mine
All night I fought!
One demon or another
Night terrors plagued
And they gave me no peace
Chained here, I break.
A nightmare like no other
And then the pain
In my head that won’t cease
No hymns of joy
No Christmas chorus for me and
Tinitus ringing
The only bells that came
(Loudest one yet)
✊ Fall on your face! ✊
Can’t hear the angel voices
O migraine is mine!
Migraine divine…
Skull-vise was born
🎄🤘💀🤘🎄
All Night…I whine!
All Night…
O-ho-ho-ho migraine… is… MINE.
Oh, you don’t know that good old fashioned Christmas saying? Here ya go.
About 21% of our family sayings come from this movie that we await with bells on to watch every Christmas Day. And yes, we use these sayings allllll year long.
© 2023 Hartebeast
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🎶 The Most Blunderful Time of the Year 🍻
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What the Actual Phukk, 2020 (2000...2023)?!
Before we get to today’s holiday snarky singalongs and the healthy coping mechanism tools, and before we get to the shiny-pretty reprieve of twinkle lights—I mean, c’mon! Gotta have the twinkle lights: This one is for The Unseeable. The Shoved Aside. The Muzzled. For those who don’t know how to speak these words but feel them just the same. It's for everybody who's gone through a catastrophic loss that just hap-hap-happened to...
Wut? Not like it’s gonna hurt any more than it already does? Okay, fine. If it does, then just bang your devil-horns in the air, yo.
This sacrilegious carol was amazing. But my favourite part of all were the bracketed prompts “(fists in the air now)” — that was gold.